35 Weeks, 6 Days

I'm making progress and I'm moving fast.

This week, I have gathered for you a number of "new" sleeping gowns and at least one oatmeal-colored long-sleeved onesie (minus the snaps) that I plan to put you in immediately following your birth.

Or maybe you'll be in one of your sleeping gowns, I'm not totally sure yet.

I'm on the hunt for a sweet cap for your head, which would be a LOT cuter if I knew your gender because I could get a sweet one with a flower or a bow for a little girl or something more masculine for a boy.
And I don't want to buy two because...well, I just don't.
I'll doll you up gender-wise as soon as we know who you are :)

I'm studying up on birthing information and techniques and really trying to visualize how this will all come together.
Sometimes you apply so much pressure with your head that I wait a beat to see if you've broken your bag of water and then my stomach drops and I realize how quickly this could happen for us.

We are a week from our birth window.

And I am NOT PREPARED!!!

But like I said, I am making progress and moving fast.

I also started pulling out the sheet sets and towels that I need for your birthday.
I've applied Post-Its to all sets so that they're labeled for Daddy and the midwives.

The one that says "Birth Set" really hits home for me.

And I'll tell you, I can't even imagine your birth without crying.
They're not tears of fear or anxiety but rather tears of gratitude and excitement.
When I picture you in my arms finally, I just can't help it.
My eyes fill with tears and then I realize I'm driving down the road and those tears are just sliding down my cheeks.

I'm just so lucky and it doesn't escape my notice.
It's humbling, this whole birth experience.
And I'm grateful to have had this "extra" opportunity with you.
I say it that way because, and I know I mentioned this before, but you "number five" were never part of the Original Plan.
But I'm so happy that you've been added in.

Everything is supposed to be in place by Monday when the midwives arrive so we'll spend the weekend tying up some loose ends and making sure that if you decide to come in the early part of this window, that we're ready for you.

I feel ready mama-wise.
I'm completely ready to give up my sleep (have already, actually--the nights are misery for me) and to start my new full-time job of nursing you, and my God, I can't wait to hold you and kiss you and love you.

Just writing that brings tears!
HORMONES!!

But really, it's going to be so nice to see the new face of our family (four boys, one girl?  two girls, three boys?) and to resume life.
Pregnancy tends to put a hold on regular life, I think, as a family sort of just waits for their new normal to begin.
I'm ready, super ready for that.

Now I've got to get to work on the rest of it.
It'll be a race to the finish, unless you're late.

Don't. You. DARE!  :)

Loving you already,
Mama