35 Weeks, 3 Days

What. Are. You. DOING IN THERE????
Listen to me!
There is nothing to see so stop turning your head!
There is nothing to do so stop trying to maneuver into new positions!
And PLEASE stop whatever is causing that burning sensation because I hate it and I hate it BAD.

For real.
You're scaring me.
You're like CREUX scaring me.
You've been so good and so relaxed and all of a sudden you are killing me.

When you turn your head and it rubs along the bottom of my pelvic floor, I gasp out loud and scare the crap out of people!
You can't make me do that in my condition because then everyone thinks I'm going to deliver you in their restaurant or their waiting room or in their store and they become HIGHLY uncomfortable in my presence.

I can feel your head, by the way.
Right above my pelvic bone, there's a soft, firm, slight bulge.
That's you.
Crazy.

I'm nesting like a fiend currently so I know we're in the homestretch.
And my contractions are nice and strong, not scarily so, but they've picked up considerably so we're in our groove now.

You could theoretically come, safely, in about a week.
A WEEK!
That's when I had Chas and oh my, he was so tiny.
But you're not tiny.
You are big and strong and squimy all of a sudden!

I opened your clothing totes tonight.
All manner of itty-bitty wondefulness in there...onesies and tiny caps and sweet sleeping gowns.
I pulled all of the neutral stuff out and then a few gender specific favorites, too.
I didn't want to wash everything I had for both sexes so I grabbed about a week's worth of clothes for each and then will launder the rest once I find out who you are exactly.

Once you started Creux-Scaring me, I checked the Chinese Baby Calendar just for fun.
It's said to be highly accurate but I don't really believe in that stuff.
I just wanted to see what it said.

Using my age and your conception month, the prediction is that you are a boy.
For what it's worth, I double checked each of your sibling's "predictions" as well and damn if they weren't all totally accurate.

Hmm, the plot thickens :)

At my last midwives appointment last week, I received my birth kit.
I didn't even look in it right away because I was sort of avoiding it.
Look, I know I've done this four times before already but it's still anxiety-provoking!

Anyway, a quick peek through it was like a walk down Memory Lane.
Big, big, giant pads. 
Can't tell you how excited I was to see those things.
Big, really, unsexy netted undies for big, big, giant pads.
I can make fun now but they'll be like my favorite accessory after you arrive so I'm not going to.
Those things exist for a reason, that's all I'm going to say.
A few squirt bottles, blah, blah, blah....sterile gloves.
Sterile gloves?
What do I need those for?

It would seem that I don't but upon reading the little list detailing the contents of the box, I happened upon this:
"Sterile gloves''--for use of internal exams done by father.

I'm sorry.
For WHAT?
By WHOM??

I'd like to think that was a typo but I know better at this point.
This pregnancy has been all about being hands-on (I weigh myself, check my urine for protein, decide how and when and what I want done in regards to everything) but this crap just takes the cake!
And I know they mean it because we once had a conversation with the midwives that went a little something like this:

"Some women go their entire pregnancies without any form of internal manipulations."

(This was them, explaining to me that the choice for any internal poking was mine to make.  If I wanted them to do one, (WHY would I ask for this, exactly?) they would but if not, they respected that as well.)

The conversation turned to late pregnancy checks for dilation and effacement, right about now for me.

"We can do those...or we can teach Charlie how to do it for you."

Oh, we laughed!
Silly women!
Like CHARLIE would be doing that, hahahahahaaaa!

Dead silence.

They were serious.
Entirely.

They were also smoking something.

I'm HAPPY to let your daddy deliver you (and that's the plan!) but there's no way that I'm letting him "figure out" how to tell if my cervix is dilated at all.
No. Friggin. Way.
I'd rather just guess at where I'm at and call it a day.

So those sterile gloves won't be necessary, thanks very, very much.

I'm hoping to write more frequently here in the coming days and weeks as we prepare together for your arrival.
I'd even like to journal to you during the first bit of my actual labor if I'm able.
I know I will be for awhile and it might help take my mind off of "things" until I'm at the point where I can't do that anymore.

I can hardly believe that you will be here so soon.
(But when?  I love this part of it and hate it equally.  I could have just ten days left or over 30!)

Loving you already (NOW SETTLE DOWN!),
Mama