17 Weeks, 5 Days

So where are you?

You've gone missing and you're making me very unhappy.

I noticed this morning when I woke up that I hadn't felt you yesterday.  Or maybe it was late last night that it occurred to me, I can't remember.  Yesterday was really busy and really crappy and I just chalked it up to my being over-whelmed in general, the fact that I missed feeling you.
So I was sort of on high alert today.
And there's been not a twinge.

This afternoon, I was on a baby-seeking mission.
I grabbed a snack, paired it with some apple juice (a SURE wiggle inducer), laid in bed and waited.

Nothing.

So where are you?

I hate this.
I actually googled those doppler heartbeat thingies tonight because I think I'm going to get one.
$70 on Amazon and I could overnight ship the damn thing and maybe I should.
I can't stand this wondering what's going on and worrying.
If I could just hear a quick heartbeat then I'd relax, knowing that you're just catching up on some sleep.

The only reason I've not stashed it in my virtual shopping cart is that we have an appointment tomorrow at noon with the midwives.
If I don't feel you tonight, you better believe that I'm walking in and straight-away finding a doppler.
I don't even need a midwife.

I know I'm probably being paranoid and freak motherish but I just can't help it.
You've been so active lately...???
Two days of quiet are torture to me. 

I'm going to go lie on the couch and have my smoothie and wait up for you for a bit.

Please wake up.
Please move.

And quit doing this to me! 

Loving you already,
Mama