8 Weeks, 5 Days

My itty-bitty corner of the world now knows of your existence and what a joyous RELIEF it was to me to share the news finally!
I haven't really been able to write properly on my other blog because this pregnancy is currently so consuming, all I want to do is complain loudly and let my friends buy me ice cream.
It's difficult for me to write when I'm hiding so much of myself.

I thought and thought about how to share the news with everyone.  I had to wait until we told the kids (which was just a week ago) and then our families (which was, for me, the day of Thanksgiving).  By that point though, mostly anyone who sees me or has direct contact with me during a week's time knew what was going on.  I was getting really paranoid that someone would accidentally say something to my boys, or that someone else's kids would, thinking my guys knew. 

We waited so long only because of Brit's big birthday outing or I'd have told the kids immediately.  Even if something had gone wrong right at the beginning, your siblings would have known.  I would have wanted them to know.  But we see my family frequently and I didn't want Greer bouncing up and down shrieking about a new sister coming before I'd had a chance to tell them myself.  (Oh dear, if you are a boy, we may have a wee tad bit of an issue.  Solvable for sure, but that little girl is DONE with the out-numbered thing.  She's ready to move her furniture around for a crib spot for her "sister."  I'm doing my best to constantly remind her that we have NO CHOICE in the matter but she just brushes that off like I never said a thing.  Denial is not a productive emotion.)

I'm not sure when it occured to me to just link my blogs but once I thought of it, it just seemed like the perfect way to announce your impending arrival.  I left a few obvious photo puzzles to solve and then just...opened this blog.  It's been locked up tight until last night with no one, not even your daddy, getting a peek at my words. 

But it was fun to wake up this morning and see that our friends and family had logged on and spent some time catching up with you and I!  As my in-box filled with congratulatory emails and comments (left on the other blog), I just felt....happy.  Lifted up.  Loved. 

We have a wide but tight circle of support and I'm so grateful for that.  It makes things like sharing a pregnancy so much more delightful because so many are excited for all of us.

So, here's the good news:
I can make it through at least ONE day without acting like a narcoleptic slug AND I can hold onto all food matters--for one day.
That seems to be my limit because if I manage to pull off a Puke Pass one day, the next it ain't happening.
The next day, in fact, I will more violently sick but that Puke Pass for one day is almost worth the make-up misery.

I made it yesterday by the skin of my teeth and everyone that was crowding the sausage sample lady at Costco should be VERY grateful that I fought so valiently.  Because when waves of sausage scented air would waft my way, I would be hit with my own wave (of nausea) so fierce that I would be frantically looking around for a Vomit Vault.  And in the case of Costco and the sausage sample lady, it was a jumbo-sized trash-can right smack dab in the middle of lots of pushy sausage lovers.

I can't even write about this anymore because I'm starting to make myself sick just returning to the scene of the sausage crime.
Shudder.

My point is that I made it.
I did not...you know...into the trash can.
I probably looked like a crazy person though, talking to myself and gulping huge amounts of unscented air, all while spontaneously clapping my hand over my mouth and gagging, doubling over and squishing my eyes closed to make it all go very, very far away.

I can't wait until this stops, in case you were wondering.

There's more good news to share and it's this:
I am starting to have more productive mornings if I can stave off the nausea.  If I can move slowly and nibble my toast and drink just a teensy bit of very unsweetened coffee, I might be all right.

Until...(here comes the bad news) the Four O'Clock Funk.

The hours from 4:00 until nearly 8:00 are horrible for me.  I have reverse morning sickness, I think.  I have cocktail-through-dinner-hour sickness. 
And I'm having a love/hate relationship with food.
If I don't have at least a few bites with some regularity, I get queasy.
Eating makes me feel better momentarily but shortly afterward, I feel even queasier.
Dinner, as I've mentioned, is the worst offender for me though it my biggest (and most flavored) meal of the day and, therefore, it is the one that most frequently is left back in the potty.
Tonight was no exception--we had pizza and I snuck a few bites of clementine oranges and before the table had been cleared, I was locked in the bathroom.
And then I laid on the couch for three hours in a row, first napping and then just feeling sorry for myself.

But I see the date we're at--almost nine weeks (we switch weeks on Thursdays, at least I think I do, until my midwife tells me differently) which means I should be seeing some relief within the next week or two. 
Please, please let it be a week or two.  I don't know how I will survive this pregnancy if this happens to be one of the ones that makes a mama sick through week, uh, 40. 
(Don't you DARE!  That is a no-no, a big major no-no--not even Creux attempted that!)

Also new:
You're craving grapefruit.  Interestingly, I only eat grapefruit about once a year; it's not my favorite fruit to eat, but suddenly I can't get enough.  We've had two today.  And last night, Daddy painstakingly juiced four big grapefruits so that I could have something other than water to drink (still incredibly thirsty, like willing to steal the Littles' sippies from them if it comes down to that) and guess who dumped every precious drop on the kitchen floor at barely 8am this morning.  (Hint: rhymes with "boooo!") 

And I hear you're able to move about already in there, an image that makes me giggle.  You are so tiny (though approaching the much bigger lima bean size, bye-bye puny pinto!) and to picture you swaying around, checking out how all your new bits work just makes me laugh. 

I'm "big enough" to maybe share some weekly snapshots of you so maybe we'll get some up this weekend. 

Loving you already,
Mama