9 Weeks, 4 Days

Okay, so apparently we aren't quite done with the whole puke-y bit.
I stand corrected.
(Did you wait for me to make that announcement on purpose and only to prove me wrong?)

It hit me so suddenly this morning, took me by such surprise, that I was mid-conversation with your Daddy and I just...vanished!
I thought it was just a bout of the nausea but no, no, no.
There was toast behind that bite.

On a lighter note from yesterday's boo-hoo-hoo fest, I'd like you to know that we have this whole vomiting thing down to a science.

I typically make a formal, "I'm going to puke" announcement (but really, was so caught off-guard today that I don't even think I managed a "just a minute" finger in the air).
After several minutes of terrific vocals in the bathroom, I am brought a soppy paper towel and a glass of water.
Occasionally, I receive a courtesy flush.
(Which always makes me wonder, why don't I do that sooner?)
It's nice that Daddy braves my nasty, isn't it?
I'd like to think I would do that same.
But I hope that I NEVER have to find out :)

I'm really no better off today, I just have higher spirits.
I hear that you are the size of a grape these days.
I never knew that something the size of a grape could wreak this much personal damage!

I must say, I'm rather impressed at your ability to follow directions.

When I suggested that you not stray from your blueprint and that you find a secure home inside me, you did not take my words lightly, did you?!
Apparently, you made yourself right at home, moved right in, and began a massive, kick-butt, re-modeling of the joint.

I'm not upset about it; all of this is a GOOD thing.

I just wish you'd tread with a lighter foot sometimes is all.
(Pretty please? Certainly, don't release your hold but do you HAVE to knock down ALL the walls and rip up ALL the floorboards in your quest to make the place YOURS?)

Tomorrow is an exciting day for us as we're going to meet our midwife group! Unfortunately, I think this is just a consultation visit--there's much to discuss in terms of a home birth and making sure that we're all on the same visionary path.
But they will discover that I am easy to please.
(Really I am, contrary to what you will grow up believing.)

All I want in this case is to make sure that we're both safe and...home.
The details aren't terribly important to me; I'm highly flexible.
I don't have this grandiose idea of the World's Most Perfect Birth.
I imagine it will be as amazing as the four other times--perhaps a lot more comfortable though.

Wait, I should clarify that statement.

We'll be in a more comfortable ENVIRONMENT.
I, however, will be most uncomfortable.
This will be my first fully natural birth experience.
And I am FREAKING OUT about that but I'm letting it go for now.
I'm banking on things going the way they normally do--by the time I begin labor, I'm usually over half way done. I tend to labor for the entire part of the last month, moving those all important dilation numbers right on up to five or six before even embarking on the hard part.

And then you have TWO HOURS to get out.

That's a joke.
Sort of.

But if you could start to get used to that idea, it would be so great for me. I've decided that I can realistically endure two hours of hard, hard labor before I go psycho on everyone.

Please let's not do that.
I plan on having this event on tape :)

Anyway, our appointment tomorrow is supposed to just be a consultation but I'm wondering if there's any wiggle room there at all.
Because I really would like someone to take a look at things, even just whipping out a measuring tape would probably be helpful.
I say this because it has definitely crossed my mind that you might not be alone in there.

Like, there might be someone snuggled up right next to you and if that's the case, I don't which of you I've been writing to this whole time!

In all honestly, it's highly unlikely that you could have a sibling in there--twins don't run in my family.
But...this sickness, my size...it makes me wonder.

Ultrasounds are not offered at the midwives office but I will be making an appointment with a doctor to have one done for me. Certainly, I would like a peek at you (oh, that little flashing heartbeat, I DREAM of it) but I can't seem to justify a reason to pass on one anyway. I won't be taking any standard "tests" to check for genetic abnormalities as it won't make any difference to me what the result could be.
Your mine, period: perfect, or perfectly imperfect.
But I'd like to see you and to make sure that you're okay and growing strong...and to know that you're a singleton.

Or to know that you're not.

I think "someone" might need just a bit of soak time on that.
(Although, I did mention my suspicion to him and asked, "Are you going to be okay if we're having twins?" And he thought and thought and do you want to know what he said? Do you want to hear his epiphany? "Your boobs are going to be REALLY big!" is what popped out of his mouth. So, I suspect he'll be fine. Apparently there are many varied bonuses when one's wife is carrying twins. Ahem.)

I'll probably have no answers tomorrow but we'll see.
If there's a way to convince someone to pretty, pretty please do me a favor...baby, I'm ON it!

Ok, well, we're off to bed now.
"We" as in me and you.
I'm not sleeping well these days due to freakish body temperature issues and the annoying need for a 4am pee.
But I'm trying hard to be a good sleeper now because I never sleep in late pregnancy. I honestly don't know how anyone does. Between being clobbered by wee baby bits from the inside (not surpringly, your brothers Rhyse and Creux were the WORST boxers ever) and by the threat of bladder explosion, it's amazing that any Mama-to-be gets a wink of shut-eye.

I'm going to go enjoy the fact that I can't yet feel your squirms or jerks or pounding fists and feet.
But I have to admit...I am strangely looking forward to it.
It'll give me something NEW to complain about.

Loving you already,
Mama