You--Seven Weeks, Six Days

You seem so very big to me these days and yet, I'll take you out in public and you will stop pedestrian traffic with your cuteness.
"Ooooohhh, a NEW one!" 
People love to say that.
And then, "How old is she?"
You're never mistaken for a boy which is interesting to me.
Both Chas and Rhyse, regardless of how I dressed them, were always thought to be girls to strangers.
It used to drive me crazy.

My response to "How old is she?" is now somehow...two months.
Two beautiful months.
I can't believe it.

You could not have made the adjustment any easier for your family and it's evident to me even now as I zoom around town, running errands easily (relatively speaking--nothing is easy these days), and just feeling comfortable with you in the mix out and about.

I remember with Creux that it was only about this time that I ventured out alone with him.
Unlike you, I never knew what he was going to do--whether we'd get in the middle of grocery shopping and he'd flip out or if he'd sleep peacefully the whole time.
It always seemed like the former would happen, even at home, so I was terrified to take him out publicly on my own.
Even with Greer, I just really felt my child load.
She was a wonderful baby like you but I was outnumbered for the first time and I was a little spooked about that.

At the same time, I've been through Creux and I can honestly say that I don't think it would ever be harder than what it was.
Each child changes you in a way and where Rhyse cracked my composure, my "everything needs to be perfect" way of thinking, Creux took it and ground it into the road, stomping and spitting on anything I had left.
The thing about being beaten down like that is when you get back up, you're just better able to cope in general.
So I think my tolerance of slightly hard situations (like running errands with a 5 and 2 year-old and a feeding-on-demand infant) has improved just due to life experience.
Creux did us all a favor.
As it turns out, I can be down but never out.
I didn't know that before.

You have wrapped this entire household right around your itty bitty finger.
Me, I was a goner when the stick said "pregnant" but it's sweet to see how much your daddy has fallen in love with you.
He's very, very hands-on and he always has been.
He loves babies.
But he's definitely just a bit sweeter with his girls and it's touching to watch.
He scoops you up, tells you that you're the most beautiful baby in the whole world, lets you scream at him when I'm getting ready for bed and never takes it personally :)

Chas is the same way--he may be a 13 year-old boy but he's a baby lover to the end.
He's always up for helping out with you and will hold you so that I can jump in the shower or make lunch or just...DO something for myself for three minutes.
My favorite is when he's totally engrossed in playing some online game (the boys and their games, I tell you...) and your snug right there in his lap, hooked in his arm.

Rhyse loves you rough, doesn't he?
He too asks for time with you but he still makes me a bit nervous.  He's probably who you will find either the most fun or most terrifying brother, depending on your level of "HOLY CRAP!"ness.
But he's the first to say, "I'll go talk to her!" when we hear you start to fuss on the monitor.
And he does take good care of you.
He just thinks you're two is all :)

Greer and Creux spend the most time with you because they spend the most time with me.
I can't remember if I wrote about it here or on Lifelines but her first reaction to you surprised me to my core.
When we walked in from the hospital, she was napping but she came down soon after we arrived.
And I was so excited for her to meet you--she'd wanted a sister so badly and had insisted that the baby in my tummy was a girl all along.
But she totally snubbed you!
She came down and we held you out and she eyed you cooly, briefly, and then said something about going to play and she walked away.
Certainly I'd heard about new baby jealousy and/or ambivalance yet I just was surprised that it hit her like that.

She did come around pretty quickly though and she's never looked back since.
"She'll be your best friend," I keep telling her when she sits with us in bed.
Because I hope so much for this to be true.
She loves you something fierce these days and is always helping me pack away clothes and shoes that don't fit her anymore.
"These are for Luxie," she'll say.
Me, I just shrink back in horror to think of you, my tiny baby up in bed, being four and fitting into this stuff.

I totally need to get a grip, don't I?
I know, I know.

Creux, look, there's no telling what he'd do if he was left to take care of you for awhile but he manages pretty well honestly.
His hands always play over your head and they're just so BIG compared to you and boy are they dirty.
(ALWAYS dirty.)
"Wuxie," is what he says.
But he loves you mad, he's always kissing your head and smelling you.

We all smell you.
It's the weirdest, most primal thing.
You really have no scent but your own.
And it's addictive.
I'd know you from a bazillion babies in a heartbeat just from smell alone.

New with you:

You're slowly moving into 3-6 month sized clothes and I'm packing away some of the newborn stuff.

You're never swaddled anymore which I HATE because I just love a bundled little sack of baby but you're too long and you move far too much.

I've been giving you baths lately and it's heartbreakingly sweet.  You are so tiny sopping wet and just as vunerable as can be.  You never cry.  You just stare up at me trustingly.

Your hair is growing longer and starting to fill in.  It's still standing straight up on top but looks less bizarre now that it sort of seems like it'll just be curly.  It's really curly when wet.  Adorable.

The swing has become an acceptable place for you (so says you) and now I'm able to get some free time in the evenings.  I'm not nursing you for that three hour, 10-1, period at night anymore.  I'll nurse you, Daddy will usually take you and plop you in the swing for a nap, I'll spend some time putting your siblings to bed, cleaning up, blogging a bit and then I come back for you.  We'll head up to bed and at this time I DO wake you even though I still hate to.  But I didn't one night and you woke me up two hours after I fell asleep and that was horrid so now, we do a fresh diaper and a big fill-up while I watch a quick tv show and then...zzzzzz.

You're still sleeping like a champ.  I am forever indebted to you for all the sleep you've allowed me to collect in these early days.  I'm still tired but more from my lifestyle (5 kids, homeschooling, activity-hauling out the wazoo) than from having a newborn.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I will try to remember this when you dye your hair pink at the age of 16 and I am tempted to handcuff you to the kitchen table.

You have amazing head control and you keep rolling from your side to your belly.
I hope this is not indicative of things to come because I really don't want you walking at six months of age.
What is WITH all of my kids being gross-motor advanced?
Your brother Creux just started riding a two wheeler.
He's TWO.
I feel like I should call the Guinness people or something.

I found a sling that I love and you're always in it.
The only bad thing is that it keeps you snug and close to your favorite, um, things on my body so you spend ten minutes rooting around in the right area and totally drooling all over the place before calming down and just hanging out.
But it feels so good to strap you on.  It feels good for many reasons but mainly because I love being so close to you and I know that you love being so close to me.

You look for me these days.  If I'm speaking, you'll turn in my direction and try to find me.  It's SUPER sweet.  And of course, I can't help but snatch you back from whoever had you and walk off kissing, kissing, kissing you.

You talk back now, cooing slightly at me when I talk to you.
Combined with those big smiles, I just know we're close to a giggle.

Our crazy life has picked up and you're on the go far more than I'd like for you to be but it can't be helped.
School has resumed, soccer's in full force, your siblings have tons going on and so I'm dragging you from the nest a lot these days.
I HATE waking you from a good nap.
I sit and try to think of ways around it, knowing that I can't but trying anyway, before gently pulling you from your sleep.
You're pretty good about this, too.
You could rage and it would be well-deserved but you don't.

You're pretty perfect, Luxie.

I love you crazy.  Really and truly crazy. 
I'd do anything for you, including getting off this blog so that I can go up and snuggle with you as I can hear you stirring on the monitor.
Rhyse just went up to hold you off.
"Mom?  Want me to go talk to her?"
I told you.
You're a lucky girl.
You are so loved.

Love,
Mama