28 Weeks, 5 Days

Something's changed.
In one day, something has majorly changed.
And it does NOT feel good to me!

I noticed it yesterday, on Tuesday.
I woke up, got dressed, started my morning.
What I wore is significant because it fit...and then it didn't.
A white Gap shirt and a plaid button down (one that I searched for for AGES in the stores because I just thought you'd look so bumpishly cute in it), plus my black yoga pants.

I'm still fighting the maternities.
I simply do not want to wear them.
But I have caved slightly.
There's a shopping bag in my closet with seven tank tops and two pairs of pants, all still wrapped in tissue paper.
Why am I battling this so much?
Can't say, really.
But the point here is this: that white shirt and plaid button down fit when I put them on in the morning.

And by the time I went to bed, you were hanging out the bottom of the t-shirt.

More importantly, I can feel the change.
Whereas I was a rather fast waddler, I am now...hobbling.
Slow and lurching.
Not. Sexy.
Don't get me wrong, I'm almost seven and a half months pregnant so my sexy days are sort of on-hold indefinitely but still.
Not. Sexy.

Certainly, you grew.
But I'm hoping that what I'm feeling is a temporary adjustment.
Because, good grief, I can't be approching my wall yet.
I still have possibly 11 weeks left.
So...we need to work this out.

You're hurting me, too.
What are you doing in there?
It feels like you're crawling.
I know I've said that before.
But you're like, BUSY, doing something all the time.
Not necessarily kicking, though you do that too.
If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were knitting or something, your hands and elbows flying all over the place in constant, repetitive motion.

You're up now. 
It's 12:30 and I'm tired.
But you're knitting and I can't sleep when you're doing that.
You've been the first one up the past few mornings, too--waking before the others come storming in.
So I'm awake while you mess around doing whatever it is that you do and then I realize that you're using my bladder as a pillow and I have to go pee and then we're BOTH really up...sigh.

You are predictably woken, too.
A loud noise, a sudden laugh from me, today a whack to the belly with a soccer ball (RHYSE!).
Seconds later, I'll feel your first jerk...and then you go knitting for half an hour.

My contractions have picked up and they hurt.
Nothing scary and regular, just warm-ups that, if they are any indication of how your birth will go, are telling me that I'm in deep crap.
I don't think I'm going to get the whole, "Oh, I sit out on the porch swing and labor, watching the kids chalk draw rainbows on the driveway while I serenely focus on my breathing" type of labor.
I think I'm in deep crap.
I think it's going to go really fast and it's going to be really wickedly painful.

These "warm-ups" are sort of scaring me just a bit.
They make me remember what it feels like.
Pregnancy is weird like that--you tend to forget the pain, the actual feel of the pain, for some reason.
Even the morning sickness that I had, already I'm like, "It wasn't THAT bad, was it?" 
Yes.
It was.
It was the most horribly awful thing I've endured long-term and yet...poof!
People ask if I'll have another post-you baby.
Right after that, I swore not.
But then I forget the bad.
And I think of not ever having a newborn again and I go..."Welllll...."

It's sort of the same thing with labor, the forgetting.
Ironically it is NOT that way with a root canal :)

I'm hoping that by this weekend maybe I'll be back to feeling so superb and moving like a human and not a snail.
I don't want to hit that point yet.
It's too early.
IT'S TOO EARLY.

So...find your room, take what you need...and then scoot over.
I can't breathe, your feet PLUS an organ are jammed in my ribs, and now my back hurts all the time.

How's June 25 sounding to you?
July is a whole different set of four letters.
And, dear God, it's a whole three weeks more than June 25.
You'll be full-term.

Think about it.

Loving you already Space Hogger,
Mama