27 Weeks, 4 Days

I am the model patient.
I swear, that's what they told me.
"They" being our midwives.

That certainly felt good to hear, especially after they picked through my diet with a fine-toothed comb.
I've been handed homework (actually I MISSED turning in this homework from a month ago so really, I am not quite the model patient they believe me to be :))--a week's worth of food diarying.
Yeesh.
I eat well and all but it's still weird to hand over such...intimate...information!
(It doesn't sound intimate but I assure you, it is when it's being scrutinized.)

My only trip-up is my darn coffee consumption.
I have two a day--one in the morning and one in the evening.
They initially asked me to cut back, slowly to one and then to none.
So I wouldn't have a "jittery baby" come July.
I scowled, I couldn't help myself.
I love my coffees and really, I am quite conscientious about what else I am consuming so as not to add any more "junk" into my daily diet.
"But we don't want YOU to be jittery either so...just do the best you can," Abby told me.

I assured them that I would not be jittery.
I would be asleep.
I can not function without a hit of caffeine.
My days are too long and hard and...long and hard.

I didn't have any caffeine with you until about month five as you simply would not allow it, even if it were the only beverage in all the land.
But as I started to return to myself, I picked that up again just a bit.
And I don't always have an entire cup and I almost always drink about a gallon of water after each time I do in the attempt to dilute and quickly flush it from my body.
(Look at me justifying!)

But in the end, after asking me what else I drink in a day's time, I was given a pass.
"What else do you drink?" Abby asked me.
"Water."
"Anything else?"
"Just water."
"Any colas?  Diet drinks? Carbonated anythings?"
"Nope.  Just...water."
Pause.
"Okay then, I feel comfortable with your coffee."
Whew.  THAT was a close one.

Everything looks great with both of us!
You're somewhere around two and half pounds at this point (pork chop!) and measured big this time!
At my visit, I was about 26 weeks and 5 days and you clocked in with a 28 week measurement.
The month before you'd been just a smidge small so you had a terrific growth spurt in those four weeks!

We will be seeing you again after all, and considering my last post, I'm a bit nervous about this one.
Previously discussed had been the issue of my retained placentas after delivery and so they're just wanting to get a peek at where it is right now and so I'll need another ultrasound next week.
If it's grown into scar tissue, it could be problematic for me.  (Read: extremely painful.)

But I also had a bad bleeding issue with Greer during the onset of labor that, honestly, I never batted an eye at until reviewing my labor in full detail with the midwives earlier in this pregnancy.
Like I tend to do, I awoke with a start in bed at around 4:30-5:00 in the morning and was in full-on, hard-core labor.
And I was bleeding which was a new thing for me but I was REALLY in labor, far worse than I'd ever been before at home before heading to the hospital and I just chalked it up to...full-on, hard-core labor.
But it turns out that really, truly bleeding like I was might not actually be a totally normal thing (I swear, I was in so much pain, it barely registered though I do remember it and in hindsight sort of wonder why I blew it off so quickly) and could also signal a potential problem with where my placentas tend to lie.

I'm really excited to see you again though.
Nervous because of that gender dream but really excited to maybe get another glimpse of what you look like these days.

I feel...magnificent.
I definitely feel some of the late pregnancy aches and pains (my back is really starting to hurt from over-compensating for my big belly) and other than the usual "I'm tired" stuff--I really feel great.
We're just days away from our seventh month together and I've officially started my third and final trimester.
The time is flying and each day that I feel this wonderful, I feel very grateful for.

You are all over the place these days which is unbelievably cute.
You're awake a lot and for long periods of time (at night, I can see the sheets jump as you shift and kick--it's quite amusing, really) but you also sleep deeply a lot and for long periods of time.
You seem to wake when we all do in the morning, even if I'm not up yet but if/when my bed starts filling up with children who would like me to be up.
You're just one of that gang in there!

There's far less kicking (though you do sneak in some good ones now and again) and far, far more...crawling, churning, turning, shifting, twisting.
You like to lie on your left side, upside down; I can feel your tiny bottom and I get lots of little-foot action on the right side of my own body.
When you do kick, it's in a series--almost never just once now.
I remember those first few times I felt you, how I'd have to lie super still and there'd be just one quick, tiny tap and then...you were gone.
Now if you're in a kicking mood, it'll be ten minutes of pounding while I lay in bed staring at the ceiling wondering when you'll get tired and fall back asleep :)
(And that's not a complaint--I'm totally giggling while I'm staring at the ceiling and am usually poking back at you.  Unless I'm really tired.  Then I just wait because there's nothing else I can do.  Am trapped, I tell you.)

Oddly enough, I have pinned down my birth sheet set which I rummaged up from the back of the linen closet this week.
I need a set to have on the bed, a set that I obviously do not care if they look as if they've been at a murder scene and then another set that the midwives will change for me while I shower (if they can wrangle you from my arms--I am LOATHE to part with my newborns, even FOR a shower) so I can get back into a clean bed with you right away.

It's sort of strange as this stuff starts to become a little bit more real for me.
(We touched on my "Birth Kit" a bit at this appointment so I could start preparing.)
Let me be clear on this point: I am scared.
Oh yes, I am definitely reconsidering the wiseness of this choice and it has everything to do with my fear of pain and nothing to do with anything else.
It does not matter (for me) how many times I've "done this" because it hurts and hurts bad every single time.
If I can rise above that fear and the pain, then I think this will be the most amazing experience.
If I can't, then I think I'm going to be in big, big trouble.
So we're just going to go with the "I can" route until I notify myself that "Whoops!  Misjudged that one!" and by that time, it will be too late anyway.
But maybe I can convince someone to knock me out and put me (and everyone) out of my misery.
I'm quite convincing when I want to be :)

You're asking for an apple and some peanut butter which is just terrific as it's like midnight and all I want to do is sleep but it seems that I'll be slicing a darn apple up instead.
Oh well.
Could be worse, right?
Like you could want, say, a Twinkie.
Which sadly sounds amazingly tempting suddenly.
I better go make that apple before I end up sending you-know-who on a midnight crack food run.

Loving you already,
Mama