You--14 Weeks, 2 Days

Oh Luxie.
You are so sick.
You have your very first real cold and it STINKS.

Two days of vomiting now--thankfully it's only milk so it's not so bad but it's the worst thing I've ever heard.
You're feverless though and I believe that this is just your way of getting rid of all of the mucous that's rattling around inside you.
You can't blow your nose so you sneeze it out and you can't cough it up so you puke it out.
I can tell it's not normal vomit as it's very...well, mucousy.
Gross, right?

You woke us around 5:45ish in the early morning.
I'd just nursed you and you were settling back to sleep but were having a hard time doing so.
Since you're so snotty, it's super hard for you to breath while nursing.
You end up gulping and gasping and then crying in frustration.
But you managed to get a meal in and we laid down together and then you started coughing and coughing and coughing and then WHOOSH!
You projectiled all over yourself, me, the bed.
And when I scrambled out into the dark and fumbled for a light, I passed you off to Daddy who held you during the second wave of nasty funk.
We changed you and both slept on towels.

This morning you did it again and ended up starting the day with a bath.
I'd been a little worried due to all that vomiting but I really don't suspect a virus to be causing it--I honestly believe it's your body's way of getting rid of the bad stuff sitting around inside you so I thought we'd see how the day went before taking you into the doc.
I don't think they'd be able to do anything anyway.
I'm just keeping you comfy at home, making sure your eating and sleeping...and having wet diapers. 
I check your soft spot too for signs of dehydration.
But so far, you seem to be handling this alright.
The rest of the day was eventless in the way of puke :)

I've never known a happier puker either!
You vomit and then dazzle me with a gummy smile.
It breaks my heart--you're just so darn SWEET!
And I've noticed that when you're struggling to breathe in your sleep, I hold my breath involuntarily.
It's only when I think you've inhaled finally that I do too.
It's weird--I'm aware of it but unable to stop myself.

Luxe, you are officially one year old--to me.
This is right about the time last year that you were made.
Called up, if you will.
It's so crazy to think that you started out as just this little twinkle in my eye.
I went to the pumpkin patch last year with you dividing like mad inside me and I had no clue of your existence.
I wondered, of course.
But I had still had weeks of wondering to do before I could find out.

And then there was that negative pregnancy test.
I was so grouchy and snippy all week long after that.
Crushed by disappointment.
It still boggles my mind that I didn't retest a few days later--I waited almost a whole week!
When I finally did, l remember watching your super, super faint line, that "little line of mine" grow dark right before my eyes.
Announcing your "arrival."
I found out about you the night we went trick-or-treating and I was so happy I don't think my feet actually touched the ground.
I was so high.

Here we are a year later and you're better than I could have ever imagined.
Three and a half months of chubby delight, you are!
So happy and content.

You've changed so much since I've written here last:

--You're getting fat, sister.  The  all-milk diet certainly agrees with you.

--You're doing better in the car.  We bought you some toys.  And they seem to intrigue you enough to help you forget about how much you friggin' HATE your seat.
Thank. GOD.

--Though you're doing better, I've rearranged how we shuffle you around town and it's a simple plan: we don't take you unless we absolutely have to. 
I'm lucky to have help at home that I trust, mostly in the form of your cousin and your oldest brother.
I've left you more than I've ever left any baby.
But I think you are happier for it as I leave A LOT and instead of getting dragged all over the place, you sleep in the swing. 
It's been a nice adjustment.

--You're drooling and chewing on your fists any chance you get!  Already, this drooling stuff?  And stuffing things into your mouth?  Noooooo.

--You crack me up when you find your hands.  You lay back and inspect them curiously, turning them from side to side.  Like..."What in...the hell... is THIS????"

--You pull my hair.  Or you cling to it.  You just seem to like it in your fingers. 
All you babies have been that way.

--You're never cradled anymore, always held upright and mostly held facing outwards.  This is my signature baby holding move--I very rarely hold babies over the shoulder or on my hip.  You guys like to look around!
I don't blame you.  There's lots of good stuff to see.

--You are the Raspberry Blowing QUEEN!  You blow, I blow.  We're both soaked by the time we're done playing.

--You're talking a lot these days.  Cooing, trilling.  High to low, making funny expressions with your eyebrows.  It cracks me up.

--And when I laugh, you light up with a smile.  Happiness IS contagious.

I sure hope you get better soon, my little Mucous Monster.
(I stole that from Chas, who held you the other day until proclaiming you to be "too juicy" for his liking and then he said, "Please come get this Mucous Monster."  I thought that was worth stealing.)

Love,
Mama